The rain sounds so beautiful and therapeutic when you’re alone, kin long sound asleep, and I– I am swaddled in a cloud of white down comforter bedding with nothing but the glow of my computer screen illuminating the room I’m sitting in quiet reflection in..
There is a sweet satisfaction of knowing that my life is FINALLY finally coming together.. slowly, but surely. On August 17th, I signed my very first lease on my own for a beautiful 1 bedroom apartment, paid for all on my own, busting my ass at both jobs all while juggling my son’s schedule, putting food on the table and fulfilling my creative urges on the side. I can’t express how proud I am of myself without trying to sound cocky or boastful, considering all that I had to go through this year to have all of this.. and also how not-so-easy it was to attain. Sometimes I ask myself, how could I possibly even ask for more, yet knowing and deeply understanding that there is even more yet to come.
I can’t even begin to describe how my soul is yearning for more moments like this, where I’m soaring with inspiration and my heart is compelled to speak truths I’ve been waiting so long to even utter. I feel as though it’s been ages since I’ve touched my computer, or even dabbled in my longtime love for webdesign, videoediting and writing. I guess like for many out there, life has been hectic. But I, for one, am in complete amazement and utmost gratitude for the turn of events in just the last few months that have proven that everything I’ve been working so hard for is finally paying off. Coming from a failed relationship, losing my house and job earlier in the year and next finding myself completely alone while I embark on a new journey of learning this thing called “independence,” and “putting my big girl panties on,” I didn’t think that I could have reached any lower than what I thought was rock bottom. That is, until another unfortunate piece of news did in fact disprove that quickly. Looking back in hindsight, I still have no idea how I did it. How I was capable of keeping my poise and professionalism day by day working two jobs as a receptionist and personal trainer. How did I live out of my car, using public storage to keep my belongings, using my gym to shower and break room refrigerator at work to keep my groceries all while on the days I got to visit with my son I would hear “I want to live with you again, mommy…”— how in the hell did my heart not break Every. Single. Day. of it all???
The funny things humans do to survive and the inspiration that lies beneath the surface that drives us to keep pushing forward in each waking moment.. And to think, this is only the very beginning of it all.
My story isn’t uncommon, but it is a less spoken one indeed. There are hundreds of thousands of Americans reportedly homeless amongst us and why our system fails us so deeply, I’ll never understand but I know that I will do everything that I can to be an open source to those who need it most. I cannot give more than what I have myself, but my heart is full of encouragement and support for those finding themselves in these hard times. No one can ever do the work for you but the one thing I can promise you is that life always gets better as long as you keep the faith and believe.
You got this.